It is late on a Wednesday night and Michael and Mary are talking on the phone. Michael is curious of the time. This is the cue for the following scenario to unfold.
MICHAEL: Hey, what time is it?
MARY (checks her watch): Oh wow! It's 12:32 a.m. I didn't realize how late it was!
MICHAEL: Do you want me to let you go?
MARY: I don't know. Do you want to go?
MICHAEL: No.
MARY: Then why did you ask what time it was?
Michael asked what time it was because he wanted to know what time it was. Mary, however, took this as an attempt by him to get off the phone with her, because he feels she is boring or perhaps he is angry about something.
Michael has come to the conclusion that girls just think too much. Rather than taking something for face-value, they over-analyze every word that comes at them. He is a victim of Girl-speak.
It's 7:23 p.m. on a Thursday night and Mary wants to make plans for the upcoming weekend. She asks her boyfriend, Michael, what he wants to do. This is the cue for the following scenario to unfold.
MARY: Hey, what do you want to do this weekend?
MICHAEL: I don't know.
MARY: What do you mean you don't know?
MICHAEL: I don't know what I want to do.
MARY: You have no idea what you want to do this weekend?
MICHAEL: Nope.
MARY: What about a movie? Or we could go out for dinner?
MICHAEL: It doesn't matter.
MARY: You have no preference?
MICHAEL: Nope.
Mary is frustrated. She doesn't understand how Michael could have no preference. He must have a preference; he's just not telling her.
Mary has come to the conclusion that guys just don't think. She is a victim of Boy-speak (if you can even call it that).
It's no wonder we find ourselves butting heads so often.
The problem? Men and women think the other should know exactly what the other means. Even though men and women may technically speak the same language, they obviously use it in completely different ways. Men feel like a simple "yes" or "no" is sufficient to answer just about anything, while three words from a woman can come attached with a manifesto of hidden thoughts. In our experience, this "language barrier" can sometimes leave men and women angry at each other, having no idea why. While the men think the women are crazy, the women think the men just don't listen.
Herein lies the reason: Men and women simply think differently. It's a medical fact. According to an article entitled, "Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women," written by Dr. Michael G. Conner, Psy. D, "Men and women, in general, consider and process information differently." Women tend to "consider multiple sources of information within a process that can be described as simultaneous," while men tend to "focus on one [or a limited number] of problems at a time," according to Conner.
So is there a solution? The answer we have come to is twofold: yes and no. In the end, men and women will probably never speak each other's languages; we have to come to an understanding of our differences and learn to accept them. If we don't at least try compromise, we'll really never get along.
*Yes, we did argue (quite a bit) while trying to co-write this article.
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