 "Photo: Photo Illustration by Craig Calefate/The Observer")
The bar scene is popping tonight. Beautiful girls line the walls and the alcohol is flowing. You and your boys walk into the bar like you own the place. Beer in hand, you’re thinking about approaching the hottie eying you from the end of the bar. Then “Don’t Stop Believin’” comes on. All thoughts of hooking up have vanished in an instant and you instinctively form a huddle with your crew. Collectively belting out, “It goes on and on and on and on,” you know that spending the night with your boys is far more satisfying than any successful female conquest. Your arms are on the shoulders of your “bros” as you shout, “I love you guys!” over the noise.
Bromance, which is commonly defined as a close, platonic friendship between two heterosexual males, has suddenly and undeniably entered American culture. Fordham College at Lincoln Center (FCLC) appears to be no exception, as the trend is as much a topic of hallway conversation as lamentation about final papers and the next big action flick.
The assumption that girl friends are more open with one another than guys are with their friends is becoming somewhat antiquated. TV shows like “Bromance” and films like “I Love You, Man” pose the possibility that men actually rely on their friends for a lot more than just sharing beers and playing video games.
Though the media has established a general definition of bromance, many have put their own twists on the phenomenon.
Ryan Murphy, FCLC ’11, describes bromance as “when one guy has a type of infatuation or extreme liking of another man, but not in a homosexual way… [and] really enjoys this person’s company or persona.”
“[Members of bromances] are your ‘bros,’ and you confide in them and enjoy their company,” said Ryan Harrington, FCLC ’11.
“The two men in question must have gone through similar or shared experiences as well as enduring tests of each others’ flaws and the patience to deal with them,” said Jake Leonen, FCLC ’11.
So are FCLC males engaged in these platonic affairs?
Molly Vozick-Levinson, FCLC ’09, said that she has seen “oh, so many” bromances on campus.
“One time I witnessed two guys break down and sob ‘I love you’ after beating some World of Warcraft shit together,” Vozick-Levinson said.
Harrington admitted to participating in up to three or four bromances.
“I currently have two or three guy friends that I enjoy talking [to] and making jokes with,” Harrington said. “In another instance I was working with a guy that I had a lot in common with. We started joking and hanging out at parties and we became buddies. We embraced the word bromance!”
So what exactly does the typical guys’ night out entail for the FCLC male?
“For me a guys’ night out involves food, man talk and video games as well as the occasional Nerf fight,” Leonen said.
“When I am home, a guys’ night out consists of going to the Applebee’s in our neighborhood at a table with a big TV, ordering appetizers consistently, and watching the large amount of baseball games while arguing over pretty much any topic that comes up. Leads to a lot of laughs and usually a large bill, but it is worth it,” Murphy said.
Many FCLC guys said they do find time for serious discussion amidst all the fun and games. Harrington believes that guys are just as open about their feelings as girls and do have heart-to-heart talks.
“We feel comfortable enough with each other to be open about how we feel. We don’t need Kleenex but we’re willing to put our hearts on the table when necessary. It’s a level of trust and respect that needs to be earned before you can have a ‘heart-to-heart,’” Harrington said.
“Guys really are open about [their] feelings,” said Murphy. “It’s not that we think it’s wimpy or not cool, we just generally share our feelings with those we feel can help. I have gone to both guy and girl friends of mine when I have an emotional problem. Hey, no man is an island. We need someone to lean on, too.”
There is the famous scene at the end of “Superbad” where the two main characters are drunk, hugging and expressing how much they value their friendship. Is there truth to the idea that a guy’s need for bromance increases along with his blood alcohol content?
Harrington said he has had a Superbad-esque experience on two occasions.
“Both times we pretended to cry, hugged each other and yelled ‘I love you, man!’ It was true and heartfelt,” Harrington said.
The last time Murphy observed a similar situation was at a bar, and the two young men were “clearly beyond drunk.”
“I have rarely seen actions like that sober,” Murphy said.
Christine Morano, FCLC ’09, has also noticed a correlation between intoxication and bromance.
“I do think that guys get more emotional around alcohol. I have one guy friend in particular that hugs all of his guy friends when he’s drunk, spouting off phrases like ‘I love you, man!’ to every close guy friend he sees,” Morano said.
Morano thinks it’s positive that guys open up and share their feelings with one another. However, she notes, it can be a problem for a girl if her boyfriend is involved in a bromance. Morano once had a boyfriend who she said fell “prey” to bromantic relationships.
“He was heavily involved in the volunteer fire department, and he’d spend so much time with those friends that he’d never see me. I’d go two to three weeks without seeing him because he’d be out with them on weekends, sleeping over and going on camping excursions. It really put a strain on our relationship, since he’d repeatedly choose them over me,” Morano said.
Vozick-Levinson believes that it’s normal for guys to rely on each other emotionally. However, sometimes she feels that guys are a bit too open about their bromances.
“What I do think is a little weird is when they go screaming about their bromances, or say, appear on a show entitled ‘Bromance.’ Am I up on your television bragging about my ‘homances’ all the time? You made a friend, dude, congratulations. Now shut the [hell] up about it,” Vozick-Levinson said.
1 comments