 "Photo: Francis Specker/mct")
There are just too many talk shows on television. We all know the format: Celebrities walk onto a stage in New York or California, sit on a couch, recite a couple of carefully planned anecdotes, promote their latest movie or book or TV show and smile for the cameras. But if talk shows are so predictable, why do we keep getting more of them? There have been many great television personalities over the years, but there have also been talk show hosts. One or two is enough for me.
It used to be that America went to bed with Johnny Carson and only Johnny Carson. Now, we’re all sleeping around and, frankly, it’s sick.
David Letterman’s “Late Night” was the first talk show besides the “Tonight Show” that could stand a chance. I like David Letterman; he’s funny and he appealed to a different audience than Carson, so the fact that his show existed made sense. And it made sense when he created the “Late Show” on CBS, the first serious competitor to the “Tonight Show,” because NBC gave Johnny’s spot to comedy supervillain, Jay Leno. So Dave isn’t to blame for the talk show rash that is currently spreading.
The problem, however, seems to be more contagious every time I pick up the remote. At midnight, halfway through Jay and Dave, Jimmy Kimmel starts writing the epitaph on comedy’s headstone. Then, at 12:30 in the morning, when I would rather eat a light bulb than watch another monologue joke, Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Fallon go on the air.
Craig Ferguson is a funny guy, but I rarely sit through his show. If I want to see an hour of a senile Scotsman, I can watch a Sean Connery movie. He’s hilarious.
And I often wonder why Jimmy Fallon even occupies a place in our popular culture. Furbies are more memorable than Fallon. I may be old-fashioned, but I don’t think the world’s first professional giggler should have a talk show.
After Fallon’s show, Carson Daly tries to distance himself from Total Request Live while C-list celebrities try to out-jackass him. Daly was better at introducing the Backstreet Boys than hosting his new gig, but infomercials have failed to beat him in the ratings at the coveted 1:30 a.m. slot.
And to make matters worse, when Conan O’Brien, a man who actually deserves the gig, takes over the “Tonight Show” this summer, Jay Leno will get a new show at 10 p.m. Leno, the comedian wearing the flag pin on his lapel, will be back on the air. Live, from the West Wing, it’s Jay Leno.
Johnny Carson once used a single hour to say goodnight to the country. Now, viewers can watch NBC’s four-hour assault on happiness every night of the week.
This real, transcribed conversation from “Last Call with Carson Daly” is an example of why nighttime television does not need so many talk shows:
Daly: How old were you when you did that? Was that your first gig in Hollywood?
Guest: No, I was 12. I was just getting my boobies.
Carson: Really?
Guest: Yes.
Carson: And they just kept on gettin’ and gettin’ and gettin’ and gettin.’
Classy and riveting. Shortly after that show, Carson Daly passed away after he lost his fight with decency.
So why do I keep tuning in to nighttime TV after it’s stopped making me laugh? Because, funny or not, it still does what Johnny Carson used to do for the millions who loved him; it puts me to sleep.
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