My grandfather died of cancer this weekend in Arizona. I didn’t grow up around him; I didn’t even meet him until I was seven. This may seem strange, but my own father was adopted and didn’t learn of his biological father until 1997.
I got a paper cut in my eye in the first grade. That means a piece of paper wounded me by creating a small incision in my eyeball, when I was six. I repeated my statement to assure you that I am fully aware of how serious a claim this is.
When I met my first girlfriend, I was four years old. I use the word “met” because I really had nothing to do with us becoming a couple. She claimed me on the first day of preschool; I was just an innocent bystander.
“Here’s an idea! How’s about we charge them money for spending money, unless they have a lot of money? You know, so if they can afford to pay the excess fees, we won’t make them pay the fees. But if they don’t have a lot of money, and they just spent the little money they had, they should have to give us some more money. It’ll be funny.”